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Lethal Lovers: Or How to Stay Single Forever

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Lethal Lovers: Or How to Stay Single Forever
By Jodie Gould

It’s not easy being single. But there are so many things that men and women do to sabotage themselves when they are dating. I’ve outlined just a few common types of self-saboteurs below. If you recognize yourself (or your lover) in any of the following, you are increasing your chances of staying single forever.

Women

The Control Freak

A Control Freak will never find anyone who will live up to her expectations. If you are a control freak, you need to learn how to be more flexible. Try to let others make the decisions and, God forbid, do things their way, even if you don’t think it’s the right way.

The Man Hater

Women need to be careful not to let their anger about past boyfriends, husbands or fathers turn them into angry Man Haters. If you find yourself griping all the time about men, it’s important to get the anger out so you can eventually move on. Guys have radar for man haters in the same way that women can sense if men are gay or married.

The Drama Queen

If you are always in a crisis, you are probably a Drama Queen. A man might be attracted to the Drama Queen because of his need to rescue you. But after the initial teary outburst, middle–of-the-night panic call, and screaming fit, the Drama Queen gets old and the man gets out.

Men

The Donald

The Donald may be handsome, or he may just think he’s handsome. He is the kind of guy who will spin everything he does into a success story. He might be a politician or he might buildings after himself. He is never wrong, and any problem he encounters is always the other person’s fault. He will name drop, even though Mike Ovitz is a friend of a friend of a friend of the gardener who tends his lawn. He is simply nauseating.

The Alpha Man

The Alpha Man is easy to spot because his surplus of testosterone (or steroids) produces an oversized body and ego. Women are attracted to the Alpha because he’s a bad boy. They allow him to act out their own stifled aggression without suffering the consequences. The problem is he sometimes acts them out on women. If you are an Alpha, you probably enjoy racecars, boxing, hunting and extreme sports, especially if you or someone else might bed killed while engaging in them. You often get into fights with other Alphas and sometimes you even end up in jail.

The Ladies’ Man

Ladies’ Men make good boyfriends and terrible husbands. Handsome doesn’t help a woman in her eleventh hour of labor. If you’re a Ladies’ Man, ask yourself if you’re the kind of person you would want your sister or daughter to date? You probably go after women with low self-esteem, telling beautiful women they’re smart and intelligent women they’re beautiful. As long as you value charm over substance you will never have a real and satisfying relationship.

 

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